Redecorating

If I go back to the metaphor of renovating my home, my process in the last post would be similar to my trying to find the right furniture and decorations for my home makeover.

While watching a show or viewing a post somewhere I will see home decor that resonates with me. I will start to plan how to redecorate having that vision in mind. I get excited about the possibilities of how our home could look and feel.

Reality strikes when we go shopping at the store. I have a vision. Others give their opinion. I want to please others. I change my choices to fit what I think they are telling me is ok for the budget, the look, etc.

My brain zooms around these thoughts…

          How much will this cost?       What do I do with my current decorations?       

 What will others think? How soon will this decor go out of fashion?

   Will this furniture last through kids and a dog?     Is this color neutral enough to please others?

Can I change my decor but keep the furniture long into the future?

      Will my husband and kids like it too? What does this style say about me?

          Is it selfish to be spending this money on a home we know we won’t be in forever?

I start to feel as though I am being selfish for wanting a new updated look when those around me are content with what we have. I become paralyzed in trying to make decisions. I can no longer visualize what the space could become. My joy in the creating this makeover is gone and then my mind goes blank.

I no longer have a sense of what I would like or want. I leave the store with nothing.

And then, I shut down.