Under Renovation
I am always in awe of how the designer takes a dilapidated old house and gives it new life. They keep the foundation, try to stay true to some of the history of the house, and then create a vision for the future of the house.
This is not to say I am a dilapidated old woman. I am just saying that I need some renovations. I have a great foundation. My history helps make me who I am. But the future is wide open and I can choose to keep my home in its current condition or I can make the conscious choice to add value and make it my dream home.
What’s stopping me from moving forward?
Small updates can add up quickly. Doing a full home renovation can be daunting financially. The laundry list of items escalates in cost quicker than the initial list can be completed.
When I start seeing the total climb I become overwhelmed with the thoughts of all that we need to accomplish and the weight of taking on any debt to complete the job. If we do decide to move forward, I feel guilty that we are spending the money and often only finish the project part way. I don’t fulfill my dream home makeover.
As a parent, any disposable income tends to go to activities and extras for the kids, not for yourself. I’ve never begrudged that we have done this. It’s just a fact of having children. We have gotten in the habit of putting their needs and wants ahead of our own. We take joy in seeing them happy and thriving.
My husband will often encourage me to take a class to learn a new skill or to start a program that will make me feel healthier in mind and body. I’m so fortunate that he is supportive. He always tells me that I’m worth it. However, when I research and look at the costs, I almost always talk myself out of it. The costs to improve myself seem too substantial compared to what I know we have available each month. This cycle has been happening for more than twenty years!
I have gotten in the habit of only allowing myself to update with things I can do at home or activities that are free or at a deep discount. I never give myself permission to create the renovations of my dreams that I know will be more costly. Because of this, I have lost sight of what those dreams are or even were.
It’s time to make a list for my revitalization!
Actually, it’s way past time to make a list for my revitalization so I need to start now and put my plans into action.
The common list many people make includes losing weight, working out more, eating healthier, and making more time for self-care. However, my renovation isn’t just changing the paint color, adding new flooring, and changing out my decorations. I know in my heart that the best choice for a healthier me is to take it all the way down to the studs of the house. Tearing down the walls that have been built on lies I have come to believe about myself.
Reflecting and finding negatives comes very easily to me. Finding the positives…whew! That’s a whole other matter.
My first task is to take the negative beliefs I have of myself and find a positive counterpart. The list seems lengthy but as I dig deeper, I realize that many of the negative items are tied together. Finding their positives is a much shorter list.
Who’s making a list with me?
Many have said they would like to take this journey with me. I am so happy to have you along. I hope you can find some time this week to dig a little deeper and make a list of the ways you negatively see yourself and then find the counterpart of how you want to take that belief and make a positive. I believe giving yourself grace is extremely important during this process. This is not an exercise in beating ourselves up. It is a process of taking the negative thoughts, exorcising them, and finding how to move forward in a positive way.
I look forward to sharing my list with all of you soon.
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