Moving Through The Fear

                                                     

Where I Am Currently

Analysis Paralysis…that’s what they call it…that sums up what happens to me when trying to make a decision that could impact me or my family in a major way.

A part of me inside says it doesn’t matter if I know nothing about a subject. I have nothing to lose except not going for it and trying something new. So I start researching and there is so much information out there but I can’t find anything that simplifies what I want to know so that I can feel comfortable moving forward. Sometimes, too many options are overwhelming.

I do my best to sift through all of them. Look at reviews. Find comparisons to see what will fit best with what I am trying to accomplish. And then it hits…analysis paralysis. I get so caught up in analyzing everything that I become paralyzed and unable to move forward.

Don’t Overthink It

A wise friend told me, “Don’t overthink it, you only learn from experience.” So true. I know this in my heart and I’m trying to embrace it. But my risk-averse brain is blinking warning signals. What if I choose and it’s a bad fit? What if I invest in this and fail? What if I do all this work and hate it?

And then, I shut down.

But this time, I keep coming back to it. Each day, I open my computer and do a little more research. Then I hit the wall and shut it back down. The difference from other times is that I keep returning. My heart keeps leading me back.

You may be asking why I haven’t pulled the trigger if I know my heart is leading me toward this new path. Simple, I keep going back to where I have been and trying to decide if I just need to go back to what I already know. Perhaps that would be the easiest route. But would it be the most fulfilling? Hmmm, that’s the question I need to answer for myself.

It’s A Process

This year is about finding myself again. Not changing completely. Just figuring out what I enjoy or what fills my cup. What I know to be true is that change isn’t easy and can be scary. I also know that change can be wonderful and life-changing. 

The process of tearing down the wall of fear that I have built around me over the last 46 years takes time. Although it may seem slow to others, I feel like I’m making positive strides in this demolition and rebuilding stage. I’ve set myself a goal. I have one week to pull the trigger on this new possibility or move on. I’m off to do some more research!